One B stands for Ballerina, the other for the BBC.

As a child I used to attend ballet classes for few years. I hated it because the teacher was really bitchy and not in a 'demanding teacher’ way, she was just a regular bitch. She also used to put taller girls to the back rows. Hence myself, as too tall for my age and slim as hell (yes, it was AGES ago), often landed far behind sweet little angels who barely reached my chin. Then it came to choosing the candidates for the full-time ballet school and I was among the five girls who could attend the audition. Suddenly being tall and thin was good. And guess what did I say? 'No way’.

I regretted it years later while in high school. You see I’m not a person who can dedicate wholeheartedly to one thing. I like to have a range of activities but then again it also means I do not try to be perfect in most of them. So far I have been attending following classes: ballet, painting, dancing (not ballet), tennis, guitar, aikido, horse-riding, Japanese (5 YEARS), Latin, German. Not to mention things I tried to do on my own, like archery and riffling. And I still haven’t found what I was looking for.

I thought that sticking to one thing since early childhood would maybe help me being great in one thing. Or maybe one day I would suffer a knee injury and all my life plans would be shattered, a thing that is not uncommon among dancers.
If I would go to the ballet school I wouldn’t meet my boyfriend, meet the people who are now my dearest friends, go to Scotland and plan a career in television. Television is something I try to stick to now, but I see I am not nearly as motivated as Matt or Gary, who spend most of their time on some projects that can be great for their future career. I don’t even know if that
is what I will really enjoy in the future.

Saturday I did a one day work experience thingy for BBC. I was stewarding on the set of 'Flog it’, one of these programmes about antiques. My knees were killing me, the filming took 11,5 hours and I had to wake up at 5 am to get to Kilmarnock. Was it worth it? I…guess. It seems like a cool job, mostly because once you get a fancy position like directing or managing the floor, it doesn’t really seem like a job. It’s more like being in our Uni studio making our student programmes. It seems fun.

That’s for the future. For now, after 2 interviews, no prospects for a job and not much money left, I am depressed. Sorry for posting some shitty and boring pictures, but I took them I guess two weeks ago when I was able to pose for a picture. These days, I’m not.

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Marta Dziok-Kaczyńska

Nie chcę sprzedać Ci wizji perfekcyjnego życia jak ze strony w kolorowym czasopiśmie. Chcę być dobrą sobą i porządną osobą. Może Ty też?

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